How To Start a Sharing Circle With Your Loved Ones (and Why You Should)

A technique—and opportunity—for deep connection that is rare in most social dynamics

All illustrations by the author.

Every time I had flatmates in the past, there was conflict. The unwashed dishes. The bits of food in the drain. The uneven task distribution. The tension that slowly builds up and eventually explodes.

At the beginning of 2020, right when the first lockdowns began, I moved in with three flatmates for a couple of months.

But this time, I wanted to create a different co-living experience: I wanted us to have a safe way to communicate, stay close, make requests of each other, and avoid conflict. I really wanted to try and enjoy living with other people for a change.

How I Started a Sharing Circle With My Flatmates

One of these flatmates was my partner, another a good friend, and the other one a stranger. They all liked the idea of bringing more intention and communication to our co-living journey.

We agreed that the best way to achieve that would be to have a dedicated time slot every week to come together and talk, share experiences and intentions, and listen to each other.

I have a lot of experience with holding space for deep sharing in groups, and one of the most effective formats I’ve experienced has been the sharing circle.

Sharing circles can come in many shapes and forms (one of the most powerful ones being the Circling Method, but there are plenty of other ways of being together in a circle such as Empathy Circles, the Circle of Trust, Action Circles, and a lot more — you can also create your own!), but what they all have in common is a group of people facing each other without external distractions, with full attention, giving each other space to speak without being interrupted.

So I suggested to my flatmates that we sit together in a circle once a week on Sundays, and here is what our circle ended up looking like:

1. We sit in a circle…