How to Say No: Actual Phrases for Better Boundaries
An authentic “heck yes” relies on the occasional “no, thanks”
Some people seem blessed with the ability to simply say “no.” But there are those of us who struggle with boundaries. For us, it can feel like we aren’t allowed to say no or don’t deserve to do so. It can feel like we need to be armed with bulletproof excuses. We might feel obligated to cater to other people’s feelings at the expense of our own.
Re-framing this mindset about boundaries is life-changing. On the downside, you’ll learn that you might’ve actually been hurting both yourself and others by lacking boundaries. On the upside, once you start practicing these phrases, you’ll discover that saying “no” to one thing is actually saying “yes” to something else, whether that is yes to more free time, yes to healthy solitude, yes to an activity you actually want to do, or simply yes to exercising your autonomy.
Before I started practicing these phrases, I did whatever people wanted — to the point where I was no longer in touch with what I actually wanted. I only recognized my misery once I was deeply entrenched. I said yes to extra work tasks I didn’t need to, yes to social events that drained me, and yes to dates that weren’t right for me.
